What I'm Reading

Books worth your time.

I'd encourage you to first look for these at your local library — libraries play a vital role in communities. Second, try to find them at a Black-owned, woman-owned, and/or queer-owned bookstore.

These books have been helpful as I explored topics within mental health and wellness. Most were recommended by friends.

Setting Boundaries, Finding Peace

Nedra Glover Tawwab

An incredibly eye-opening read. The discussion of rigid and soft boundaries and their relation to past trauma struck me most — the guidance is practical and immediately implementable. I encouraged my mother to read it, and it became a way for us to talk about my upbringing with a common language that removed value judgments.

Heal the Body, Heal the Mind: A Somatic Approach to Moving Beyond Trauma

Susanne Babbel

The checklists mapping yourself to certain trauma types — with explanations of how they may have shown up and how they currently manifest — make this a standout. A necessary read for high-functioning people with some unpacked trauma.

Toxic Childhood Stress: The Legacy of Early Trauma and How to Heal

Nadine Burke Harris

Dr. Harris shows how a culturally competent doctor was able to help largely lower-income, minority pediatric patients by understanding their environment. The insight that childhood experience predisposes you to certain health crises even if you "live healthy" as an adult was personally resonant.

The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

Alan Downs

Great for anyone who has recently come out and anyone interested in queer history. The book suffers from a very myopic focus on a non-diverse segment of the gay male community, but serves as a reference point for how much the LGBTQ community has changed for the better.

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

You don't need to believe in non-monogamy to enjoy the history of it and how it has evolved in the United States. It shatters preconceptions and emphasizes elements of any relationship made more complex — like communication around needs. Specifically the third edition, which is much more inclusive.

Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived Joyful Life

Bill Burnett & Dave Evans

An incredible resource for getting clarity about what's next. The concept of prototyping — not just for tech startups, but for piloting life decisions and viewing past iterations as prototypes for something bigger — was a genuine mindset shift I still think about.

You Were Born for This

Chani Nicholas

To the degree you find astrology a useful tool — whether for literal direction or as a lens — this is a very worthwhile read. It includes affirmations and questions based on your natal chart, so you'll want to know more than just your sun sign. I took notes throughout.

These books have been helpful as I explored topics related to leadership, organizing, and the workplace.

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters

Priya Parker

An excellent resource for life. Each section covers how to lead an effective gathering — personal celebrations, team meetings, conferences — covering what it means to be an effective host, setting rules of engagement, and designing sessions with intention. I applied lessons immediately in both personal and professional contexts.

Multipliers: How The Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter

Liz Wiseman

An important read for new leaders. The book identifies what makes a successful individual contributor that becomes a diminishing manager — and the inverse. A chance to reset expectations and even transparently discuss team norms when managing a new team.

Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman

A useful read in understanding what makes relationships click as they evolve. The book also looks at how a friendship that is also a public-facing collaboration impacts the private friendship — which is quite rare territory.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Susan Cain

Recommended by a therapist, I read this at a critical time and it added immense clarity. Cain looks at institutions structurally set up for extraverts and dissects how they came to be that way. A good read for anyone on the introversion-extraversion spectrum, and potentially as a team activity.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Yuval Noah Harari

Valuable for anyone wanting to understand the current systems we have in place and question if, what, and why. Did we domesticate wheat, or did wheat domesticate us? That kind of question runs through the whole book.

These books were part of a journey to explore writings across the Black Diaspora — to get a better understanding of Blackness by reading stories from across the diaspora. The reading collection started in 2016.

Americanah

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

One of the first books that surfaces when exploring the African experience in the US, UK, and the continent. About the Nigerian experience, but the characters cover many tropes and stereotypes found across the diaspora. Note: Adichie is a divisive author for personal beliefs she has since shared — I'd recommend researching her views before deciding what makes sense for you. I read this before those views were shared.

Things Fall Apart

Chinua Achebe

Important to acknowledge that what's considered a classic is also a function of the colonizing country's language and relationship with the author's country. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about a pre-colonial era, Igbo traditions, the subtext around masculinity, and what it means to hold onto tradition against a changing society.

Kindred

Octavia E. Butler

Butler trapped me into reading about an uncomfortable subject with joy — the mechanism she uses to visit a genre that has been overly done is impeccable. A poignant question stayed with me: would you rather exist if it came from a bad place, or not exist at all? All Butler books are recommended full stop.

Tenderheaded: A Comb-Bending Collection of Hair Stories

Juliette Harris

A collection of vignettes, short stories, pictures, and poems that weave a tapestry surrounding you in Black wonder. A valuable tool of empathy for parents, siblings, children, and community. I never considered how someone like Dennis Rodman was a hair trendsetter, and then was pushed to think about who that male contemporary is today.

An Untamed State

Roxane Gay

I was curious to explore books speaking to Caribbean culture. This was a hard read — an incredibly hard read — because of the subject matter. There is sexual assault. It is written in such a way that I had to call a friend after, because I did not fully understand the extent of what is possible for women moving through the world.

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

Trevor Noah

A humorous but touching journey through South Africa's not-too-distant apartheid history. We can know Trevor Noah — watch him, see interviews — and keep seeing the through-line of his past with his present. There is a lightness and humor that makes the read move without too many tears.

The Count of Monte Cristo

Alexandre Dumas

My all-time favorite book — before I knew of Dumas' heritage (his mother was a Black woman from Haiti/Dominican Republic). A tale of adventure, revenge, intrigue, and motivation. I saw the movie first and still fell in love with the book. Both can be appreciated.